GUY SCARF

A woman and her baby board a London bus.
The driver looks up and says, “Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, that is the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman is shocked beyond words. She takes her ticket and her baby and walks to the back of the bus, red with rage.
A man on the bus sees that she is angry and asks her if she's alright.
“No, I’m not actually,” she replies, “the driver has just really insulted me!”
“Oh really?” asks the man.
“Yes,” she says.
“Well,” he says, “why don’t you go and give him a piece of your mind? Here, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”